It’s reigning, then … How to have an Easter egg hunt like the Duchess of Cambridge

“Easter egg hunt this afternoon,” I say brightly.

NW looks up from the paper we have bought as a treat because it’s Easter Saturday and we have children but won’t read because it’s Easter Saturday and we have children. “It’s raining, then,” he says.

NG looks out of the window and sighs. She is dressed entirely in pink.

“I will wear my wellies,” she announces, “and then I can splash up and down in muddy puddles like …”

“Yes, yes,” I say tetchily, even though today she looks exactly like Peppa Pig. We have organised

NC: "I've told you before. I'm NOT A GIRL."

NC: “I’ve told you before. I’m NOT A GIRL.”

the hunt in a few hours’ time and it’s forecast to bucket down. I think about the Duchess of Cambridge, alone for the weekend whilst William parties like it’s 1999 at his ex’s African wedding and try to pull myself together. “OK, we’ll have it inside.”

“We haven’t got the space,” NW points out, fairly, yanking NC’s hand away from NL’s jaws just in time. And chocolate eggs are …”

“No, no, NO. I want to say it,” NG waves a Weetabixy spoon over NL’s head.

“Go on, then.”

“Choclut is poysnus for dogs. But not people.” She bonks NL lightly on the nose and continues eating. NL, who has heard this a million times before, doesn’t give a shit.

I gaze out of the window at the leaden sky. “If we lived in Anmer Hall, we wouldn’t need to worry,” I mutter.

NW puts the paper down, resignedly. “Why?” he asks, with Samaritan-like patience.

“Because …” I look down at my rhyming clues, taken from Netmums. They are ok. But the Duchess’s would go something like this:

Introductory clue
The Easter bunny’s been today
(He had to show ID)
He’s brought some eggs. Not Faberge –
you’ve plenty already.

Stables
These eggs are where the horses live
It’s where you go for scooting
But darlings, there’s no guns today.
We’re hunting eggs. Not shooting.

Swimming pool
It’s somewhere wet. Tropically warm.
A lovely place 2be
And in the summer, Mummy will
Go topless. (Carefully).

Tennis courts
Daddy and I hit balls here
As hard as they will go
And Daddy sometimes plays Gan Gan
Although she is quite slow

Fridge
This is where I hide your snacks
Your Frubes and Dairylea
Look on the top shelf only, though.
The Moët is for me.

Bedroom
This is your kingdom, Georgie boy
It’s not mine. I’m just Kate.
Your mother. Duchess. Never Queen …
Let’s eat this chocolate.

If you like this, I know it’s not usual to vote for royalty, but I would love a nomination in the BiBs and/or MADs blogging awards for ‘fresh voice’ and ‘new blog’ respectively. Posts and all the details relating to these are:

MAD Awards 2016: Nominate Right Royal Mother – New Blog

BiB Awards (BiBs) 2016: Vote Right Royal Mother in Fresh Voice category

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KEY TO CHARACTERS

Characters are abbreviated as follows:

NW – not William (husband and father)

NG – not George (daughter, sister and two and a half year old)

NC – not Charlotte (son, brother and six month old)

NL – not Lupo (a Labrador)

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19 Comments

  1. March 27, 2016 / 10:44 pm

    Oh I love the rhymes! I heart this post. Really brought me into your little family Easter adventure. : ) I can’t wait until my little one is old enough to do an Easter egg hunt, although this year I was tempted to do one for “him”! Ha ha! Thanks for linking up with #StayClassy!

    • March 27, 2016 / 11:02 pm

      Oh, thank you! Yep, I love a rhyme myself 🙂 No harm at all in doing a hunt ‘for them’ before they’re old enough. It’s all good practice! We had a lovely time with about six 2 yr olds yesterday – I think they might be a bit competitive next year but this year it was so much fun!! #StayClassy

  2. March 28, 2016 / 9:08 am

    Great fun read and super poem. Easter egg hunts are good fun, no actually I’m fibbing, it’s carnage at mine with 2 boisterous boys. Still, off to kids club cinema with said chocolate to eat until we pop.
    I enjoyed your post. Happy Easter 🙂

    Mainy – myrealfairy

    • March 28, 2016 / 9:13 am

      Thank you – they are aren’t they? Even when they are carnage! Cinema sounds like a nice calm way to consume it though 🙂 Happy Easter back lovely. x

  3. March 28, 2016 / 3:33 pm

    I didn’t buy my kids any eggs this year as I knew they’d get loads from the rest of my family. So I left the Easter Egg hunt to my Mum, who did the usual hiding them in the wash basket etc. Your post is so funny thanks for sharing on #FabFridayPost

    • March 28, 2016 / 7:15 pm

      What a good idea. NG and NC had so much chocolate without me going shopping too … somehow it’s all so tempting though. Washing basket is somewhere neither the Duchess or I thought about I’m sure 🙂 Thanks for the comment and a very Happy Easter to you 🙂 #FabFridayPost

  4. March 28, 2016 / 7:46 pm

    This is just fabulous!!! I love your clue poems. Really made me laugh!!!! Thanks for linking up with us again, always a pleasure. #bigpinklink

    • March 28, 2016 / 7:51 pm

      Haha! It amused me to write them … heaven knows I don’t have a stables or tennis court to hide my Easter eggs so making up clues for them was the next best thing!! #bigpinklink

  5. March 28, 2016 / 10:44 pm

    Haha! We went on an Easter hunt in the rain on Sunday. Had not even considered that we would not have had to do this if we were the Duchess of Cambridge, & now I’m even more annoyed! Love the rhymes. #justanotherlinky

    • March 29, 2016 / 5:00 am

      Haha! Oh dear, sorry I added to your annoyance. Our rainy hunt on Saturday was basically a toddler mudfest. Think Glastonbury without the music. Or booze. But it was, amazingly, still pretty fun. Thanks for the comment – also LOVE your Easter egg nest post. I am NEVER trying to make those now!! #justanotherlinky

  6. March 31, 2016 / 7:09 pm

    This made me chuckle as I read it the first time in the shadow of Sandringham – and I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how their egg hunt went. Thanks for linking up to #PoCoLo and hope you’ll pop over again tomorrow

    • March 31, 2016 / 9:26 pm

      Did you???!! Wow, jealous. I’m pretty sure it went like that too. No problem – thanks for hosting such a lovely linky.

      • April 1, 2016 / 7:14 pm

        My parents live in Hunstanton – and we were there for Easter so yes, quite a long shadow though… 🙂

  7. April 1, 2016 / 9:36 pm

    Oh this is fab, I love your little rhymes they are brilliant! Thanks for linking up to #HappyDaysLinky x

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