A planet called Pluto

“Mummy, we do live on the Earth planet.”

Thursday morning, -1 degree. It is treacherously icy. My chest is a snuggly advertisement for Baby Gap’s winter range as we toddle to the childminder’s. NC (4 months) is in the sling, NG (2.5yrs) is holding my hand and some toast as she was a bit slow eating breakfast and NL (Bear, the Labrador) is pulling on his lead, nipping leisurely at it as we walk. I am dodging drool, icy patches and hurrying school run parents and daydreaming about going to Waitrose like Kate Middleton did wearing slip-ons, with my hair down.

“That’s right, darling. We live on a planet called Earth. And there are other planets, too. Like Mars.”


“And Jupiter.”


“And Neptune.”


“And Pluto.”

“Yes. And is Pluto a moon?”

“It’s a dwarf planet.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Who told you it was a moon?”

“Bear Bear.”

“Right. Bear Bear, it’s NOT a moon. Pluto is a planet.”

“Um, Mummy? Oh, no, sorry, Bear Bear?”

(Me in NL’s voice): “Yes?”

“Bear Bear, Pluto is a dorf planet. You are not right, Bear Bear. Pluto is not a moon.”

Shark-like, NL looks up and snaps his jaws around his lead.

“NO, Bear Bear,” I sigh, yanking it back.

“Mummy, what you doing?”

“Bear wants to play tug of war. But this is not the time, or the place.”

“Bear Bear, you must play tug of war AT. THE. BEACH.” NG wags a buttery finger at NL’s nose, driving him to dribbling distraction. A car swerves as his hind legs fall into the road.

“Darling, don’t do that. Lick your fingers so Bear can’t do it for you.”

“But I do like Bear Bear licking my fingers.”

“Not in the middle of the road, ok?”

“Bear Bear, you have to wait TIL. WE. GET. TO. THE. PAVEMENT.”

“No …” I start, but just then my friend appears in front of me.

“Need a hand?”

“Could you just wipe her fingers?” I say pathetically. Apart from NG, we are all wearing mittens like boxing gloves. She hesitates.

“Put your hands in mine and I will wipe them,” she says to my daughter. It is then I notice her mittens are UGGs and I know how much they cost because I Go(ogled) them last night.

“Oh, Milly – no – don’t use your gloves – they cost the Earth!” I protest.

NG looks up, puzzled. “But we do live on a planet called Earth,” she says.

“Yes,” says Milly. “A very cold planet called Earth.”

“But not as cold as Pluto,” says NG.

I am not sure if Bear Bear has told her this. Regardless, we will be having words when we get home.



Characters are abbreviated as follows:

NW – not William (husband and father)

NG – not George (daughter, sister and two and a half year old)

NC – not Charlotte (son, brother and four month old)

NL – not Lupo (a Labrador)

Mami 2 Five



  1. January 21, 2016 / 10:04 pm

    Oh I can actually see this! I’d would have helped if I was there!

    • Didn't we almost Anmer Hall
      January 22, 2016 / 9:53 am

      Ah, thank you :). We managed. At least it’s not as cold today!

  2. March 13, 2016 / 7:33 am

    I very much enjoy your posts, always put a smile on my face which is much appreciated!:)


    • March 13, 2016 / 9:46 am

      Thanks lovely – that puts a smile on MY face! 🙂 xxxx Happy Sunday – hope you have a fantastic day.

  3. March 13, 2016 / 11:02 am

    Haha! My girls always manage to trip me up with things like this, I end up telling them anything to move things along then at a later date ask them ‘Who told you a thing like that?!’. I would have wiped her hands no problem, my gloves are Primark!

  4. March 13, 2016 / 11:30 am

    Brilliant. This sounds so much like the kind of conversations I regularly have with our three little know-it-alls 🙂

    • March 13, 2016 / 4:46 pm

      They’re hilarious, aren’t they? I sometimes think I’m going a bit mad but it’s the nicest kind of mad possible 🙂

  5. March 13, 2016 / 12:38 pm

    Children do provide such excellent conversation! My daughter is just about to start her topic on Space at school and we have been having plenty of planet-themed conversations this weekend. #SundayStars

    • March 13, 2016 / 4:46 pm

      I know! NG is now utterly obsessed with gravity – he comes everywhere with us! #SundayStars

    • March 15, 2016 / 9:09 pm

      I can’t wait for school to trigger conversations – still a couple of years off though, so for the time being I am the ‘font of all knowledge’ … which is a bit scary, to say the least! x

  6. March 15, 2016 / 8:22 am

    I love the style of your posts – so fun to read. And don’t get me started on the Pluto confusion. It was definitely a planet when I was in school lol! Going to need to educate myself before T goes to school I think ? Thanks for sharing x #sundaystars

    • March 15, 2016 / 9:08 pm

      Thank you! I love writing them … so glad you’re enjoying 🙂 xx

  7. March 15, 2016 / 4:41 pm

    Love this!! I regularly have a similar conversation with Pops (my three year old), who is always full of questions and funny little opinions. #sundaystars

  8. March 15, 2016 / 9:02 pm

    Oh this is so lovely. I love the conversations I have with my two little girls. Sometimes I put them right, sometimes I get told I’m wrong, sometimes they have me in fits of giggles and sometimes I’m just speechless! Kids really are the best! And bless your fab friend for getting her Ugg mittens all buttery! That’s a true friendship I’d say, and most definitely a keeper, for sure!!! ?? Thanks so much for linking up with us at #SundayStars. Steph xxx

    • March 15, 2016 / 9:06 pm

      I know – even when I’m feeling grim because I’m full of cold (like today) somehow the conversations like this one make everything else go away! Thanks for commenting and hosting #SundayStars. Looking forward to linking again. xxx

  9. March 18, 2016 / 2:03 pm

    Oh I love this and I love the fact that Bear Bear told your daughter all about Pluto. But was very naughty to get the facts wrong. Kids do say the cutest things. My daughter often gives a speech about animals returning to their patients and then running around. I have no idea what she is talking about but it always makes me giggle and it is very very cute. Thanks so much for linking up to #SundaysStars. It is lovely to have you join us. Hugs Lucy xxxx

    • March 18, 2016 / 6:05 pm

      Oh, thanks Lucy. That sounds incredibly sweet! Animals returning to their patients … wonder what she means … sometimes we’ll never know. I like it when they use big words that they’ve heard us use too but have no idea what they mean. A pleasure to join you for #SundayStars – lovely linky! Polly x

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