Freida’s a Bird, Not a Plane

“My bird is called Freida,” says NG as we walk back from nursery. “And she is going to make some cakes in the kitchen.”

“OK,” I say, looking at the toy she is holding. “But it’s a plane, not a bird. And why does she like making cakes?”

“Because she is called Freida and she is hungry ‘cos she is a little bit ill,” she says simply, before skipping down the path towards the playground.

I don’t know why the stuffed aeroplane has suddenly become a feathered baker but to be honest, I have other things to think about.

Not a fledgling any more.

Not a fledgling any more.

  • We are going on holiday and I have swim nappies and 264 packs of wipes to buy.
  • The Duchess of Cambridge is visiting Portsmouth when we are away and I’m a bit fed up I won’t be around to see her appropriately nautical attire.
  • I am hungry ALL THE TIME, because it’s quite a challenge producing enough breast milk for NC, who is eight months old and feeds like a vulture.
  • Seven out of twelve of NG’s little nursery friends have come down with chicken pox.

At nursery that morning, the place was deserted, with the feeling of a turkey farm on Boxing Day. “Don’t worry,” NG’s key worker had said cheerfully. “She’ll probably get it within 7-10 days.”

“But we’re going on our one family holiday of the year on Saturday. For a week,” I’d said dully. “Is there anything I can do to prevent it?”

“Oh dear. Not really,” he’d admitted. “It tends to spread like wildfire once a few of them have it. Still, it’s much worse in adults.”

“My husband hasn’t had it,” I’d said, looking at him hard. “So I’d really rather not have to look after them both in Greece if I can help it.”

“Oh, lovely! Greece! Eat lots of moussaka, won’t you? You’re looking a bit peckish,” he’d said, and tripped off to find someone’s spare waterproof trousers.

I'm pretty sure that bird Kate pecks at these too.

I’m pretty sure that bird Kate pecks at these too.

I am peckish, I’d thought. In fact, I’m starving. Luckily, some kind people at Freida’s Kitchen sent me some breastfeeding bars to ‘boost supply’ and I’ve been devouring them like a bird of prey for the last couple of weeks. They’ve got fennel in them, which is quite strong, and I feel like I’m eating particularly nutritious birdseed but actually they’re amazing because I still have loads of milk, despite running round like a headless chicken.

“Shall we take your plane …”


“Sorry. Shall we take your bird with propellers and little windows to the swings?”



“Because Freida the bird is a chicken and she does have pockets.”


“Like my friends. Little red spotty pockets on their arms.” She jabs her forearm up and down for emphasis.

I have a revelation like when I open the fridge door and find there is, actually, half a bottle of wine left. “Oh, you mean chicken pox.”

Please, PLEASE keep your fingers crossed for a chicken pox-free holiday.

“My friends have got it and Freida has got it too.”

“Right. So shall we just go home then?” I ask hopefully.

“No. We have to go to the doctors so Freida can get some special medicine for her pockets.”

“Where are her pockets?”

“Here.” NG points to the aeoroplane’s chest, where she has actually drawn little squares. “She can make baby milk there too if she wants ‘cos she is a lady.”

This is all a bit much and I still have to buy swimming nappies so I just pretend to call the doctor and make an appointment to keep her happy. And I Google ‘chicken pox medication’ because I have to go to Boots anyway and forewarned is forearmed.

I was provided Freida’s Pantry super charged breastfeeding bars in return for an honest review.


Characters are abbreviated as follows:

NW – not William (husband and father)

NG – not George (daughter, sister and two and three quarter year old)

NC – not Charlotte (son, brother and eight month old)

NL – not Lupo (a Labrador)

Right Royal Mother is a FINALIST for ‘Best New Blog’ in the 2016 MAD Blog Awards – the UK’s biggest and most exciting awards for parent blogs. Just six out of 8,000 blogs are selected, so I am over the moon about it. If you like RRM, I would LOVE you to give ‘ordinary royalty’ your vote!

Cuddle Fairy


  1. May 12, 2016 / 8:25 am

    I am ALWAYS hungry as well. ALWAYS. Didn’t put it down to still feeding my monster who just drinks milk cllllllllllll night. I worried it was the other reason 😉

    Oh poor Bulldog. I mean Frieda. I mean the chicken.

    Fingers crossed for no pox x

  2. May 12, 2016 / 8:30 am

    oh I’ve everything crossed for you that NG and NW don’t get it and you get the holiday you deserve! another fab post lovely xx #coolmumclub

  3. May 12, 2016 / 10:20 am

    Fennel is great for milk production. I drank litres of fennel tea while breastfeeding my three.
    Fingers crossed you’ll escape pox, at least till back from holiday.

    • May 20, 2016 / 4:32 am

      It really is, isn’t it?! And I never knew with NG … it’s been so good this time around. On second to last day of holiday and so far so good … fingers crossed! #bloggerclubuk

  4. May 12, 2016 / 7:36 pm

    Eeek..I hate to tell you this…but we braved on through a weekend away with friends when Dangermouse was three months. Tigs had just gotten over the pox and we were hoping DM wasn’t contagious. Her spots appeared on the last morning. Luckily our friends forgave us for infecting their 3 month old twins 😐
    I do know loads of kids who seem immune?! Here’s hoping! Have a fab holiday xx
    Oh and thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

    • May 12, 2016 / 7:37 pm

      Almost forgot!!!

      x NZ (Not Zara, wife of an england Rugby legend)

  5. May 17, 2016 / 10:32 am

    The minds of children always amaze me! I too was starving when I’d breastfeed. .These bars sound really healthy & helpful for milk supply too. Thanks so much for linking up with #bloggerclubuk

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